Expectations

It seems that whenever I have expectations about something, those expectations are never met. Either the outcome is far greater, or not even close. So to overcome that, I go without expectations. Then, when I go without any expectations, nothing seems to happen. After this happens a few times too many, I wind up not doing a damn thing, because, after all what is the use? Over the next few weeks, I will be working at several events that have been booked for sometime now. Many readers and vendors that I often work with tell me that they go into the event with a plan. Is this plan an expectation? Like I mentioned, whenever I have expectations, they are never met. When I was still performing, I understood my role in whatever musical chair I was sitting in. More often than not, my role in a band called for me to improvise. There are countless books and theories about improvising. Each one telling you what you should play over a particular harmonic framework. To me, this was not improvising, it was planning. A huge part of me seems to have the idea of formulating a plan and having an expectation, mixed up in some type of 'putting the cart before the horse' kind of logic. The expectation is the most likely result of the plan. Then there is yet another part of me thinks having a plan is cheating. Whenever I was successful, it was because I had a plan. If someone complimented me on my success, I simply said I really didn't do anything except follow a plan. My interpretation of that was that i didn't have much to do with my success, after all, I just followed a plan. Perhaps the word plan needs to take on a new meaning me for me. Growing up in the television generation whenever I heard anyone say "I have a plan" the results were not that successful. My plan now is to understand that creating a plan is the same thing as following a framework or road map. those are easy things for me to do. And if while following this frame work or road map, if something does not work, I just go back to the point where it stopped working smoothly and adjust the framework, or find another road to my destination. These are normally very successful ventures for me. Looks like today is a perfect time to create and follow a new map. One that allows me the time and opportunity to allow for a wrong turn; or to grab some coffee and breakfast at the nearest Waffle House. A map that is easy to follow and fold, and one that will not block my vision of the road ahead of me.